


last summer, i gave you my heart

by hanbrough



Series: two hearts hooking up on a friday [3]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, M/M, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings, lovers to enemies to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2020-08-13 16:50:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanbrough/pseuds/hanbrough
Summary: Andi looks at the invitation again. She seriously considers placing a check in the ‘sorry, I can’t go! :(’ option. It’s not that she isn’t happy for Amber. She’s just not sure she can handle seeing her up close and in person, even after all this time. An Amber she doesn’t have the privilege of knowing anymore, no less - an Amber with a year of college memories and experiences that Andi wasn’t around for. Maybe she’s already moved on with a college girlfriend who’s sure to be wiser, prettier,betterfor her than Andi ever was.Andi wishes she was a better person. A more put-together person. A more over-it person, but. Well. It’s the day of move-out, and Bex is coming to pick her up in less than two hours, and she’s stuck in her dorm, staring at an overly fancy online invitation, trying to decide which tiny box she should check.11/15 update: NOW COMPLETE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> at long last, the juicy part 3 has arrived! i debated posting this b/c i haven't found a single ambi-centric multichaptered fic with more than a handful of kudos on here, but i'm too excited about this not to go through with it. 
> 
> this story was loosely inspired by a sambucky fic, which you can find [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411651), as well as an ambi social media au which you can find [here](https://pandilives.tumblr.com/post/186259319449/masterlist-intro-part-one-part-two-part-three-part).
> 
> i would strongly encourage you to read parts 1 & 2 of this series before this one, because they're all in the same timeline and you can see the progression of ambi's relationship. 
> 
> the notes at the end will explain some background details, so please read them as well!

“Are you going to open that, or are you just going to sit there with your mouth open instead of packing?”

Andi’s jolted out of her reverie as Libby saunters into the nearly empty dorm room, surveying Andi’s strewn luggage with distaste. Her roommate at SAVA has already moved out, and she had been in the process of packing when she got the notification.

“Yeah, sorry,” Andi mumbles, clicking on the email to see an elaborately made online invitation, decorated to the brim with stickers and animations. 

_ You’re invited: Amber’s Welcome Home from Freshman Year at Georgia Tech Party! _ The evite reads. _ Come celebrate my favorite sister’s first year of college. Bring food and be ready for a good time :) _

“Fancy,” Libby giggles, looking over her shoulder. 

“Only TJ would be this extra and make an entire evite instead of just sending a text,” Andi rolls her eyes.

“Well, are you going to go?” Libby asks just as Walker enters the room and sits down beside Andi on her bed.

“I don’t know,” Andi admits. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen TJ and the others, but it also means I’ll have to see Amber again, since, you know, the party’s for her.”

“Oh, so TJ doesn’t know that you guys broke up?” Walker comments. Andi winces.

“I guess not? We never really officially announced it or anything, but I’m surprised she didn’t even tell her own brother.”

“Anyways,” she continues, “if he knew, I definitely wouldn’t have been invited. I’m the last person Amber would want to see at her welcome home party, trust me.” 

Andi looks at the invitation again. She seriously considers placing a check in the ‘sorry, I can’t go! :(’ option. It’s not that she isn’t happy for Amber. She’s just not sure she can handle seeing her up close and in person, even after all this time. An Amber she doesn’t have the privilege of knowing anymore, no less - an Amber with a year of college memories and experiences that Andi wasn’t around for. Maybe she’s already moved on with a college girlfriend who’s sure to be wiser, prettier, _ better _ for her than Andi ever was.

Andi wishes she was a better person. A more put-together person. A more over-it person, but. Well. It’s the day of move-out, and Bex is coming to pick her up in less than two hours, and she’s stuck in her dorm, staring at an overly fancy online invitation, trying to decide which tiny box she should check.

“You should go.” Walker breaks the ensuing silence. Beside him, Libby nods vigorously.

“_What? _” Andi looks up. “Did you not hear what I just said?”

“I did,” Walker replies. “But maybe the party’s your chance for you and Amber to make up. Maybe you guys can at least get your friendship back.”

“For once in my life, I agree with Walker,” Libby pipes up, receiving an elbow to the side in response. “Maybe Amber will be willing to make amends?”

“I doubt it,” Andi mutters. “Not with how we ended.”

“Look, it’s been a year,” Libby says bluntly. “She’s grown up, you’ve grown up. There’s no harm in trying.”

“I guess you’re right,” Andi says reluctantly. She moves her mouse over the 'I’ll be there! <3' option, where it hovers for a few tantalizing seconds of uncertainty.

She hesitates. Then, she clicks. 

“Now that that’s done,” Libby stands up, clapping her hands, “it’s time to get back to packing.”

\--

_ Soaked and shivering, they’re intertwined in a mess of limbs and life jackets as they crawl out of the water and plop on the ground. _

_ “That was so much fun!” Amber exclaims. “Too bad we just suck at kayaking.” _

_ “Yeah,” Andi laughs. “I’m pretty sure the guy by the dock was hardcore judging us.” _

_ Amber’s blonde hair has been tangled into endless knots, and a small bruise is forming on the side of her arm. She’s laughing, eyes shining with mirth, and Andi thinks she has never looked more beautiful. _

_ Amber catches her gazing, and looks concerned. “Is there something on my face?” she asks. _

_ “No,” Andi shakes her head. “It’s just - I love you.” _

_ Amber doesn’t even hesitate as she replies, “I love you too.” _

_ They don’t talk about the dwindling number of days between them. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> andi just finished her junior year at sava. they live in dorms bc it's easier that way for the story. her main friend group at sava consists of walker and libby.
> 
> libby is still deaf, as per canon, but when she wears her cochlear implant (as she does in this chapter), she can hear and talk. if she's not wearing it, she will sign. andi and walker know ASL, and the shadyside crew know a little bit of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andi sees amber for the first time since....well, it's been a while.

_ “Penny for your thoughts?” _

_ Amber jumps in surprise as Andi walks towards her. _

_ “Sorry,” she mutters, a slight smile on her face. “I was just thinking.” _

_ “Thinking about what?” Andi inquires. _

_ Amber takes a deep breath. “Do you think I made the right choice in choosing Georgia Tech?” _

_ “Why would you think otherwise?” Andi asks, confused. “You love everything about that school.” _

_ “Yeah, but…” Amber trails off. “I’d be thousands of miles away from here. Thousands of miles away from you.” _

_ “Amber,” Andi says gently, taking her girlfriend’s hand, “you can’t let that stop you from going for your dreams. And I’m fine with doing long distance, remember?” _

_ “Yeah,” Amber says off-handedly. “You’re right. Thanks, Bambi.” _

_ “Anytime,” Andi replies. _

_ Although they stop talking, they both know the discussion is far from over. _

\--

“Andi!”

As Bex pulls into the driveway, Andi spots Cyrus and Buffy waiting by the front steps. Despite her trepidation about returning to Shadyside, she can’t help but feel better at the sight of her two best friends. 

“Hey,” Andi smiles as the two pull her into a hug. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“Welcome home!” Cyrus exclaims. Beside him, Buffy adds, “you’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

“I can’t wait,” Andi replies. “Just let me put my stuff away, yeah?”

Heading to her room, with Buffy and Cyrus close behind, Andi unzips her suitcase and begins the long process of unloading her things.

“So,” Buffy takes a seat on the bed, watching Andi place various items of clothing into drawers, “what do you want to do first, now that you’re back? Go to the Spoon?”

At the sound of the familiar restaurant’s name, a wave of memories slams through Andi’s mind. She stiffens. 

“What about the park?” she suggests as nonchalantly as she can, hoping her friends hadn’t noticed her abrupt physical reaction. “We always go to the Spoon; we can go there another time.”

To no avail, Buffy doesn’t fall for it, and her eyes narrow. “What’s wrong with the Spoon? You live for baby taters.”

“Actually, that’s Cyrus,” Andi remarks, the boy inclining his head in agreement. “And there’s nothing wrong with the Spoon! I just don’t feel like going there today, that’s all.”

“Well, like it or not, we’re going,” Buffy says matter-of-factly, and Andi knows there’s no use in arguing with her. 

“Besides,” Cyrus chimes in, “don’t you want to see Amber? She’s working there again for the summer.”

“Right. Amber,” Andi says as casually as she can, forcing a smile onto her face. _ If only you knew, Cyrus. _

If Cyrus and Buffy notice the awkwardness in the air, they don’t comment on it. Wordlessly, they each grab one of Andi’s arms and drag her out the door. 

\--

Her hands are shaking. 

The familiar entrance to the Spoon looms before her, and Andi balls her hands into fists, willing herself to calm down. 

As they walk in and sit down at their usual booth, Andi glances around, hoping to not see any familiar faces. Lucky for her, it seems that a certain blonde waitress isn’t on duty. 

Internally breathing a sigh of relief, Andi unclenches her fists as Cyrus places their usual order. 

“So,” Cyrus turns to her once their server has walked off, “tell us all about your year at SAVA! How was it? Did you meet any cool people?”

“It was pretty great,” Andi admits. “I got to do a ton of cool projects that I'll show you guys later. And yes, I met so many great people! But my main friend group there actually consists of Walker and Libby.”

“Walker and Libby?” Buffy comments incredulously. “As in your ex Walker and Jonah’s ex Libby? They go to SAVA, too?”

“Yeah,” Andi nods. “We’re actually really good friends.”

“But enough about me,” she says, looking to change the subject, “what about you guys? How are things with TJ, Cyrus?”

“Really good,” Cyrus replies happily. “But guess what? Last month, Buffy and Marty got together!”

“What?” Andi turns to her other friend, shocked. “That’s amazing!”

“Cyrus!” Buffy groans in embarrassment, but she’s smiling. “Thanks, Andi. He’s an idiot, but I really like him.”

“I’m happy for you, Buff,” Andi says truthfully, although she can’t help but feel a bitter resentment about now being a fifth wheel. “It took you guys long enough.”

As the conversation continues and the waiter returns with their food, Andi feels herself relaxing into the booth. She had genuinely missed Buffy and Cyrus when she was at SAVA, and finds herself excited to catch up on what she had missed during the past year. 

In fact, she’s almost started to forget why she was so worried in the first place when the door chimes. Two girls holding hands walk up to the front counter, and although she thinks they look familiar, she can only see the tops of their matching floppy hats. 

“Nice hats,” Buffy remarks wryly, following Andi’s gaze to the counter. One of the girls has removed her hat, and a recognizable cascade of blonde hair falls down. Andi gasps quietly as she looks away, her hands trembling madly once more. 

“Hey, is that Amber?” Cyrus points. “Amber! Amber!” He calls, trying to get her attention. 

At the sound of his voice, the second girl turns, taking off her hat as well. Even though Andi hasn’t seen her in years, the person is undeniable: it's Iris. 

Amber and Iris. Together. Holding hands. At the Spoon, where Andi, Buffy and Cyrus are sitting mere feet away. 

Andi sneaks a peek at the two - she’s never seen either of them look so thunderstruck in their lives.

“Andi?” Buffy looks at her cautiously. She squeezes her eyes shut, wishing this was all just a nightmare, that she’d be waking up any moment now.

She knows her friends want answers. It’s just that right now, she can’t give any to them. 

“I have to go.”

Before Buffy and Cyrus can protest, or even say a single word, Andi heads for the exit, the door slamming shut behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, muffy got together during the year andi and amber were gone.  
if you're worried about age gaps, ghc are 17 (rising high school seniors). amber and iris are 18 (rising college sophomores). only a 1 year age difference, but a 2 year grade difference :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amber's welcome home party goes about as well as you'd expect.

_ It’s silly, the way it starts. Or, in a way, how it ends. Andi figures she should’ve seen it coming. _

_ Amber leaves for Georgia Tech’s summer program for incoming freshmen and all of a sudden, one missed phone call becomes several. The two-hour time difference make it worse; Andi finds herself ditching hangout sessions and delaying dinner with her family so she can squeeze in a Facetime or two before Amber heads to bed, or to a late night study session. _

_ She tries to not let it bother her, that long distance is already hard when it’s only been a few weeks, tops. She tries to box away her resentment that Amber is already an adult, moving onto the next chapter of her life and experiencing college while Andi still has two more years of high school to go. She tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt when she’s alone with the SAVA new student orientation packet, questioning whether or not leaving Buffy and Cyrus to go to SAVA was the right choice, and Amber isn’t there to reassure her that it was, that everything would be alright. She feels sick at the thought that she’s slowly dropping down the list of Amber’s priorities, when they used to be the most important people in each other’s lives. _

_ Face it, Andi tells herself, Amber doesn’t have time for you anymore. _

_ So, in retrospect, maybe she shouldn’t have bottled up all those negative feelings when Amber returns in mid-August, gushing about the fellow students she’s met, how nice the upperclassmen are, and how exciting her course load is. _

_ “That’s great,” Andi says, forcing a smile and hoping it’s believable enough. “I’m happy for you.” And she is - truly - but all she can think about is how there’s not enough time, never enough time left. _

_ “Thanks,” Amber grins. “But enough about me! We have two weeks left before I go back. What do you want to do?” _

_ “Actually, one week,” Andi corrects her with a grimace. _

_ At that revelation, Amber’s smile slides right off her face. “What?” _

_ “SAVA has new student orientation that lasts for a week,” Andi explains. “So, we only have a week together.” _

_ “...And you didn’t bother to tell me that until after I got back?” Amber says, eyebrows raised. _

_ “Well, sorry that it didn’t naturally slip into conversation when all you could talk about was how great Georgia Tech is compared to here,” Andi snaps. She doesn’t mean to, but she can’t deal with the accusatory tone in Amber’s voice. _

_ “So it’s my fault now for being excited about college?” Amber shoots back. _

_ “No, of course not,” Andi rolls her eyes. “It’s just -” _

_ “It’s just what, Andi?” Amber asks coldly. _

_ “It’s just that you never have time for me anymore.” _

\--

“....Andi?”

Looking up from her perch on the swing, Andi watches her best friends slowly approach her.

“How’d you know I would be here?” she asks cautiously. 

“We don’t have that many hangout places,” Buffy points out. “And we figured you probably didn’t want to go back to your house.”

“Well, you found me,” Andi mumbles in response. “Congrats.”

“Andi, what happened at the Spoon?” Cyrus inquires, taking a seat on the swing on her left. Buffy sits down on the other side. 

“What do you mean?” Andi plays dumb, knowing she’s only delaying the inevitable.

“You _ know _ what we mean,” Buffy reprimands. “Iris and Amber are together! When were you going to tell us that?”

“I didn’t know she started dating someone else, namely Iris,” Andi responds. It’s technically the truth. 

“Well, then when were you going to tell us that you guys broke up?” Cyrus questions.

Andi sighs. “I don’t feel like explaining it right now, Cyrus.”

“Wait,” Buffy jumps up out of the swing, turning to face her friends, “does that mean you’re not going to Amber’s welcome home party tonight?”

“I got the invite,” Andi admits. “Libby and Walker convinced me to go, to at least make amends. But now that I know she’s moved on…”

“No, they’re right,” Cyrus says. “You should go! Amber tells TJ everything, so if TJ knows you two aren’t together, and he still invited you, that must be a sign that she’s okay with seeing you.”

“I don’t know, Cyrus,” Andi replies. “I tell you two everything, but you didn’t know we broke up either, did you?”

“That’s true,” Cyrus concedes. “Well, you should still go. You never know. Maybe the fact that Amber is with Iris means she’ll be over it enough to see you.”

“You’re such an optimist,” Andi shakes her head. “But I guess since I already said yes, I’m going.”

“And then,” Buffy pulls Andi out of her swing, “after the party, you’ll tell us everything.”

\--

For the second time that day, her hands are shaking. 

Andi, along with Buffy and Cyrus, tentatively approaches the Kippen house, where it looks like the party is already in full swing. 

“I’m gonna go find TJ,” Cyrus says once they let themselves in, surveying the large group of people milling about in the living room. “You guys will be okay without me, yeah?”

“We’ll be fine, Cyrus,” Buffy replies, smirking. “Go get your man.”

Watching Cyrus disappear into the crowd, Buffy turns to her. “Wanna get something to eat?”

“Yes, I’m starving,” Andi answers. “Also, anything that can delay me seeing Amber is a win.” Buffy rolls her eyes, but follows her into the kitchen nonetheless. 

As the night progresses, Andi finds herself actually having a good time. She’s catching up with old friends from Jefferson and dancing wildly to the music - definitely not procrastinating talking to Amber. 

Andi excuses herself out of a conversation with Gus, crossing the living room on her way to the bathroom when she bumps into someone and is sent tumbling to the ground.

“I’m so sorry!” Andi exclaims, scrambling up from the floor. “I didn’t see-”

She trails off when she looks to see who exactly she’s so clumsily run into, and her blood runs cold. Amber stands before her, hand in hand with Iris, with a murderous expression on her face.

Andi has a lot of regrets. Like, a lot. A crapton. A shitload. An overloaded dumpsterful.

But her biggest one yet is thinking she should’ve gone to this party, that there was ever a chance of reconciliation.

_ “Maybe the party’s your chance for you and Amber to make up. Maybe you guys can at least get your friendship back.” _Walker’s words from earlier that day flash into her head, and she realizes he couldn’t have been more wrong.

Amber’s shaking, looking at her with pure fury in her eyes, while Iris stands by, wary. Many of the guests have noticed the commotion, and Andi peeks over Amber’s head to see TJ looking confused and Cyrus with an expression of total panic.

“Um, hi Amber.” The words come out quietly, and Andi looks down, afraid of what she’ll see. 

Amber’s reply is curt. “Get out.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Get out!” Amber snaps, and Andi wills herself not to cry, not to further embarrass herself in front of all these people.

Without a word, she does what Amber says. Only when she’s blocks away from the house does she finally let the tears fall, and her heart break. 

\--

_ “I’m the one who doesn't have time for you? You’re the one who doesn’t have time for me! I’m all alone there, Andi. I had to make new friends. You can still hang out with Buffy, Cyrus and TJ every day for two more years, and I can’t!” _

_ Andi is flabbergasted at Amber’s interpretation of how the summer had gone, and for a moment, she feels a flash of guilt. _

_ But _ _ the jealousy and bitterness and hurt that’s been swirling in her stomach all summer have overpowered everything else, ready to come to the surface. _

_ “Of course you’d only think about yourself. I had to rearrange everything to talk to you! You’re the one who missed most of our scheduled calls.” _

_ “Not by choice! It isn’t my fault that college is hectic and sometimes things don’t work out.” _

_ “No, you’re right. This clearly isn’t working out. Have a good year, Amber.” _

_ With that, Andi storms away without looking back. _

_ It’s only hours afterwards, late into the night, when the reality of what she had done truly sinks in. A new feeling, one of regret, settles into the pits of her stomach. _

_ It’s funny, she thinks, how they thought they would be the ones to survive long distance, but couldn’t even last a whole summer. _

_ And it’s all her fault. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thursday update for you all because i'm gonna be too busy and emo to post tomorrow. but now we know the story of their breakup! v angsty!
> 
> for those of yall reading for tyrus and muffy, you'll see more of them soon :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uncomfortable run ins post party.

“So yeah, now she hates me.”

“I’m sorry. That sucks,” Buffy offers sympathetically, while Cyrus nods his support. 

Andi shrugs. “It’s whatever, I guess.” 

(She purposely leaves out the part about the previous night, spent lying alone in bed with tears in her eyes and an endless amount of regret.)

“No matter,” Cyrus speaks up, gracefully switching the topic, “we’re doing something fun today! Why don’t we go to the park?”

“Yes!” Buffy agrees. “And we can invite Jonah too!”

“Sounds good,” Andi responds dully. All she wants to do is dwell in her misery, but she knows Cyrus and Buffy won’t take no for an answer. 

Jonah meets up with them as they arrive at the familiar swing set, distinguished by his ever present grin and happy demeanor.

“Hey, Andiman!” he exclaims, reaching in for a hug. She melts in his arms; despite everything that had gone down, she had genuinely missed Jonah while she was away at school. “Didn’t see you at Amber’s last night.”

“Yeah, well,” Andi replies, the awkwardness returning, “she definitely didn’t want me there.”

Jonah’s clearly confused by this statement, and looks over to Buffy and Cyrus for clarification. Both shrug, all too used to their friend’s oblivious tendencies. 

“Anyways,” Andi says, looking to change the subject, “how was ultimate frisbee this year?” At this, Jonah enthusiastically launches into a detailed explanation of being promoted to varsity captain, and getting to boss the inexperienced freshmen. Though she doesn’t completely follow his story, Andi finds herself comforted by his voice - anything that can help her not think of Amber. 

Andi looks up just as Jonah finishes his story, spotting two familiar figures walking towards them. 

“TJ!” Cyrus shouts excitedly, running out to the field to greet his boyfriend. Similarly, Buffy makes her way to Marty, reaching in for a hug. 

“Hey guys,” Andi forces a smile and waves as her friends’ significant others approach. Though she’s happy to see them, it’s her worst nightmare all in one: Not only must she now suffer the fate of being the fifth wheel, she has to be scrutinized by TJ’s inquisitive gaze. 

“Hi Andi,” TJ greets her, a little too casual for her liking. Behind him, Marty waves.

“So, what happened last-?” TJ starts to ask, only for Cyrus to launch into a rant of his own. TJ accepts the blatant and purposeful disruption, but looks to Andi, as if to say, _ this isn’t over_. 

As Buffy and Cyrus get distracted by their boyfriends, Andi’s vaguely aware of Jonah leaving to go talk to some of his other friends. She sits quietly on the swingset, nodding along to the conversation, wishing she could be anywhere but here. 

“Hey!” She exclaims, cringing at how loud her voice carries, and Cyrus, Buffy, TJ, and Marty turn to her. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick. I’ll be right back.” At their indifferent nods, she hops off the swing, walking as fast as her legs allow her, with no intentions of returning. She doubts they’ll even miss her. 

Andi aimlessly circles the park for a while, when she abruptly comes to a stop in front of a familiar log, near a familiar dock storing a familiar set of canoes. All at once, memories flood through her mind - _ “Nice _ crown_, your majesty,” Amber smirks, and her insides turn into goo; I love you, I love you, I love you _ \- 

“Fancy seeing you here.”

She’s abruptly jolted out of her reverie to see the aforementioned subject of her thoughts standing in front of her, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. 

“Amber,” Andi says cautiously. “Hi.”

“So,” Amber takes a seat beside her on the log, “I guess it was on me for not telling TJ about us when he sent out the invites to the party. Regardless, you could've and should’ve said no, but you still had the audacity to show up anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” Andi mumbles, looking down at the bracelets on her hands. “Libby and Walker convinced me that maybe we could make amends if I went.”

“Make amends?” Amber repeats incredulously. “After you broke my heart and then never spoke to me again?”

“I’m sorry,” Andi says again, for lack of anything better to say. She cringes internally at how weak it sounds.

“What’s the point of being sorry?” Amber snaps. “Sorry gets us nowhere. I needed you, Andi, and you weren’t there.”

The words sting more than Andi expects, and she feels herself getting defensive. “No, Amber. _I_ was the one who needed _you_. I wanted to talk to you about SAVA, but you weren’t here!”

“Well, I wanted to be!” Amber replies angrily, her voice rising. “I would’ve dropped everything to see you, because I loved you. You knew and agreed to long distance, and then just gave up the second it became hard.”

“You think I didn’t try?” Andi shoots back, heart sinking at Amber’s use of the past tense. “I made time for you. I skipped hangouts with Buffy and Cyrus and Jonah and your brother, and inconvenienced my parents, just to talk to you! And none of that even mattered, because you were still too busy for me. You moved on to college and you didn’t need me anymore.”

“You know that wasn’t true,” Amber hisses, “and don’t you dare pin the blame all on me. You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Why does it matter?” Andi fumes, temper rising. “You found Iris. You found your happy ending. She’s probably better for you than I ever was.”

“You know what?” Amber stands up in a rage. “Arguing about this is getting us nowhere, because you’re too stubborn to listen and for once in your life, admit that you were wrong.”

It’s a low blow. Andi stands up as well, insides boiling. “I don't want to admit that I’m wrong? Fine. You’re right. There _ is _ no use in arguing. In fact, just don’t talk to me again.”

“Fine!” Amber shouts. 

“Fine!”

With that, Amber storms away. Alone once more, Andi sits back down, wondering how what had started out as good intentions and a desire to apologize had gone this wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for late update! first week of 14th grade (college soph yr hehe) and i'm already overcommitted :-) 
> 
> also i apologize for the poor quality and shortness of this chapter - the story will hopefully start to pick up again next chapter and onwards.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time for a real, constructive conversation.

“Really, Cyrus? I don’t want to be your and TJ’s third wheel.”

“Don’t worry, Andi,” Cyrus attempts to reassure her. “Jonah’s coming by later, and Buffy probably will too, once she’s finished with her dentist appointment.”

“Fine,” Andi says grudgingly, following Cyrus into the Spoon. “And you’re sure Amber isn’t working today, right?”

“_Yes_, Andi,” Cyrus responds, exasperated. “We’re late. Hurry up!”

As Andi heads to the booth that Cyrus had pointed out, she spots a familiar figure already seated, head down and madly texting.

“Cyrus!” Andi hisses. “You literally _ just _ told me-” 

She turns to the side, only to see that Cyrus has vanished into thin air. Rolling her eyes at his not so subtle ploy to get her to reconnect with Amber, Andi reluctantly makes her way over while shooting a particularly nasty text to her traitor of a friend. 

“Hi,” she says carefully as Amber looks up from her phone, mouth twisted into a scowl.

“What are you doing here?” Amber asks rudely. “I was supposed to meet with TJ.”

“Yeah, well, he and Cyrus tricked us into coming here,” Andi explains. “I was just ‘supposed to be’ hanging out with the two of them today. Trust me, I didn’t plan on seeing you here.”

“Guess that makes two of us,” Amber mutters under her breath. “Damnit, TJ.”

The two of them sit in awkward silence for several moments, neither of them wanting to be the person to speak first. Finally, Andi sighs.

“Look, they’re probably hiding in a booth or something and won’t let us leave until we talk it out,” she says. “So let’s just get it over with.”

“I already said everything I had to say to you in the park the other day,” Amber replies, shrugging and crossing her arms. “So I don’t see what else Cyrus and TJ want me to do.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Andi swallows her pride as the apology comes out. She focuses on a stain on the wall, purposely avoiding Amber’s intense gaze. 

“What I said the other day - and what I did last summer - was out of line. The long distance was harder than I thought it would be, and I knew it would’ve been ten times harder once you started college for real. I was scared, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, and for that, I’m sorry.”

Andi finally musters up the courage to look for Amber’s reaction. To her surprise, Amber’s eyes have softened, and she looks wistful as she fiddles with the salt shaker.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize how hard it would be, either. It’s just that I wanted the full college experience, y’know? Getting out of Shadyside had been my dream since before we got together, and I couldn’t always drop everything just to talk to you.”

“I get that,” Andi nods. “But sometimes it felt like you just straight up forgot I existed, or that your new friends were so much cooler than I could ever be.”

“You have to know that wasn’t true, not even a little,” Amber counters. “But I _am_ sorry for making you feel that way sometimes, and not being there for you to talk about SAVA.”

“I guess we both messed up, huh?” Andi says. “We really thought we would be the exception.”

“We were just dumb kids,” Amber laughs. 

“Already viewing yourself from only one year ago as a dumb kid?” Andi teases. “College really changed you.” 

As she says this, the reality of the statement sinks in. It had been one year - a year that Andi had completely missed out on. She doesn’t have the privilege of knowing this Amber, not anymore. 

“Yeah,” Amber agrees. “It did.”

“And I guess that’s where you and Iris reconnected, right?” Andi reasons, to which Amber nods. “I’m really happy for you two.”

It’s the truth. Or, at least she wishes it were. 

“Thanks,” Amber smiles. “I’m really happy too.”

They fall into silence again, but this time, it’s comfortable. Andi uses the time to discreetly study her ex-girlfriend - all her mannerisms, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. It’s all familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time. 

That’s when the truth hits Andi like a ton of bricks. _ I’m still in love with you_, she wants to say. _ I love you. I never stopped loving you. I want to get back together and try again, for real this time. _

But it’s too late, because Amber has so clearly moved on, with Iris, of all people. Iris, Cyrus’ (unfortunate) ex-girlfriend, who Andi admittedly doesn’t know so well, but who has only ever been a sweetheart around her.

“So,” Amber’s voice jolts Andi out of her reverie, and she looks up, forcing her face into a crooked smile and hoping her inner thoughts hadn't been too obvious. Amber’s hand is outstretched before her, waiting for an answer. “Truce?”

Andi nods. “Truce.” 

They shake.

“Finally!” A different voice, that of a certain teenage boy, booms from behind them. Both Amber and Andi jump, and look around to see TJ and Cyrus standing up from a nearby booth, beaming. 

Andi rolls her eyes. “You guys are so stupid.”

“But our plan worked, didn’t it?” Cyrus points out. “You two are good now. And best of all, we can do group hangouts again!”

“Always thinking of yourselves first,” Amber teases. “But I guess it did work, so thanks for that.”

Amber smiles at Andi as she says the last part. Andi smiles back uncertainly, wondering where to go from here.

“Y-yeah,” she finally stammers out, at TJ and Cyrus’ expectant looks. “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo! truce!
> 
> this is much softer than i'd intended it to be, but enjoy! :D
> 
> also the tags say pov alternating and it's been andi's pov for the past 5 chaps alskfjsalkfj amber's pov will return next week!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> group (well, most of the group anyways) hangouts. amber questions things.

“YES!”

Amber watches Andi turn around and jump up and down in excitement, having scored her third strike in a row. She groans.

“How are you so good at bowling all of a sudden?” Amber asks, as Andi reaches out to give Iris a high five. The newfound solidarity between them, and their clear glee at one-upping her, is weirdly irritating. “Did I miss something when I left for college?”

As Amber says this, the implications of the statement sink in. She had really been gone for a year; a whole year of not being around to see TJ and Cyrus and Buffy and Andi change and grow. 

“Guess I had a lot of practice,” Andi shrugs, the epitome of confidence. 

Amber rolls her eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” 

Standing up, she reaches for the next bowling ball, a shiny pink one. Adjusting her grip, she lets her hand get used to the weight, before carefully positioning herself in front of the lane. 

Amber bends her legs slightly, before swinging her arm back and letting the ball speed towards the pins. 

_ Spare_, the neon sign above her reads. Amber sighs.

“Not bad, sis,” TJ remarks as he returns holding a plate of pizza in one hand and Cyrus’ hand in the other. 

“Oh good, you two are back,” Amber says, sitting back down and taking a bite out of her own slice of pizza. “I was beginning to worry my whole team had ditched me.”

“You know we have your back,” Cyrus reassures her, ever concerned for his friends’ feelings. 

Amber smiles. “Thanks, Cyrus. At least I know I can count on you.”

“Hey!” TJ exclaims in fake indignance. 

“If you guys are finished with your sibling banter, it’s your turn, TJ,” Andi chimes in, pointing at the fresh set of bowling pins.

“You noticed that too, huh?” Iris comments, readjusting her shirt as she sits down. Andi’s eyes widen, and she grins.

“It’s honestly so annoying, right? You’re like, hey, I just walk to talk to you guys, because you’re my friends, but neither reply because they’re too busy doing their sibling telepathy thing.”

“Exactly,” Iris nods vigorously. In response, Amber gives her girlfriend the stink eye.

“I regret introducing you two to each other.”

“Technically, we already kind of knew each other,” Iris points out. 

“Back when we all thought we were straight,” Andi makes a face. “I still can’t believe you and Cyrus used to be a thing.”

“Don’t remind me,” Iris groans. “At least we got a cool gay/lesbian solidarity thing out of it.”

Amber watches the exchange with a strange feeling in her stomach. She should be happy they’re getting along so well, right? Scratch that. She is happy. Or at least, she wants to be.

Amber pulls out her phone, pretending that she’s not carefully watching Andi stand up for her next turn, pointedly looking away when Andi stretches her arms and a little bit of her shirt lifts up, revealing a tan line of skin. She pretends to be engrossed in Instagram as Andi and Iris exchange elaborate handshakes and good lucks, before Andi turns to the lane and delivers yet another perfect throw. 

God, what was wrong with her? Iris was right there. She and Andi may be friends now, but Andi still had broken her heart. Iris, on the other hand, has always been good to her. She loves Iris, the way she used to love Andi. Right?

_ Right_, Amber firmly answers her own question, ignoring the painful knot in her stomach.

Cyrus finishes his turn, having knocked down seven of the ten pins, and snuggles into TJ, who immediately reciprocates. Amber resists the urge to gag. She’s happy for her brother and his boyfriend, but has no desire to see their affection in public. 

As if Andi can read her thoughts, she speaks up. “We get it, y’all are in love; no need to rub it in our faces.” At this, Iris laughs, and catches Amber’s eye. She attempts to smile back. 

“Jealous, Mack?” TJ teases. “You’ll find someone eventually.” 

_ You’ll find someone eventually. _ Why does the thought of Andi holding hands, being in love with a future stranger all of a sudden make Amber want to throw up? 

Andi rolls her eyes. “No, just saying what the rest of us are thinking.”

“Rude,” Cyrus says, with no malice behind it. 

Eventually, thanks to Andi’s excellent bowling skills, vs Amber, TJ and Cyrus’ subpar ones, Andi and Iris win by a landslide.

“Ever heard of being gracious winners?” Amber snarks as she watches the two squeal in excitement and vigorously hug each other. 

Andi grins. “Nope.”

“Okay, so you guys definitely took this way too seriously,” TJ comments. “Want to go to the Spoon?”

At everyone’s nods of agreement, they head out. Once they reach the sidewalk, Amber can feel Iris sliding up to her, reaching for her hand. She takes it, firmly putting thoughts of Andi behind her. 

Once they arrive at the familiar restaurant, TJ and Cyrus sit on one side of the booth, immediately engrossed in a conversation of their own, while Iris, Amber and Andi awkwardly cram into the other. 

“So, Iris,” Andi says casually, as if she isn’t the very obvious fifth wheel to any outside observer passing by. Why isn’t she bothered? Amber’s bothered, and she isn’t even the one doing the fifth wheeling. “Want to see some of the projects I did at SAVA? I showed it to these guys earlier, but I need some opinions from people who haven’t known me since middle school.”

“Sure!” Iris replies excitedly. “I wish I was talented enough to do art.”

“Honestly, it’s not that hard,” Andi waves offhandedly as she pulls up the photos in her camera roll. “You just need to practice, that’s all.”

“Wow, that’s so beautiful,” Iris compliments admiringly. “That’s so cool that you go to a place specifically for art.”

“Yeah,” Andi nods. “And since college apps are coming up for me, I was thinking of putting it all in a portfolio.”

“Ooh, yes, you should definitely do that,” Iris advises. “I did something similar when I applied to college, only it was for my coding projects. There’s actually a cool website that you can use ...”

Amber stops listening to the conversation, distantly watching her current girlfriend and ex-girlfriend talk like they were best friends, like Amber hadn’t yelled at Andi to get out of her house just two weeks prior. 

TJ and Cyrus make some flimsy excuse about needing to get somewhere, and they leave the Spoon in a mess of tangled hands and mad giggles. It’s reduced to the three of them now, but Andi and Iris don’t even seem to notice, still engrossed in their discussion about art and college apps and whatever else they seem to have in common.

“Earth to Amber?”

Amber jolts out of her reverie to see Iris madly waving her hand in front of her face, looking concerned. 

“Are you alright? You’ve barely said anything since we got here,” Andi says. She’s put away her phone, and her eyes are filled with a tender sort of worry that hasn’t been directed at Amber in over a year.

Amber clears her throat. “Sorry. Just got distracted, that’s all.”

“Well, we should probably get going,” Iris says. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom before we leave, okay?”

“Sure,” Amber responds distractedly, and Iris leans to kiss her on the cheek before heading off to the restroom.

Now it’s just Amber and Andi, alone. Andi smiles shyly at her from across the table. _Since when had Andi switched seats?_

“While you were zoned out, Iris was telling me about how you two got together,” Andi breaks the short silence. “She's great. I’m really happy for you guys.”

It seems so genuine, spoken without an ounce of jealousy. Not that she wants Andi to be jealous at all. But couldn’t she be, just a little?

“Oh,” Amber says, betraying none of her inner turmoil. “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clarify there will be no cheating or being controlling from any girl in this story because i don't condone that shit.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andi's got it bad. libby's got a solution.

“So….you two are actually going to hangout one on one? Like nothing ever happened?”

Andi shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”

At Cyrus and Buffy’s skeptical looks, she sighs. “Hey, Amber was the one who asked to hangout, not me.”

“But you agreed to go along with it,” Buffy points out. 

“I wasn’t just going to say no,” Andi protests. “You guys know how I feel about her. I’d do anything she asked me to do, honestly.”

“Yeah, and that’s why we don’t think it’s a good idea,” Cyrus replies. “Especially since you asked you to a movie, and that feels very date-like.”

“Whatever,” Andi shakes her head. “Anyways, she just texted that she’s coming over right now, so there’s no going back.”

“Have fun,” Buffy remarks wryly as they make their way out of her house. As they leave, Andi nervously paces back and forth outside her door to wait for Amber, fiddling with her phone. 

_ It’s not a date. It’s _ not _ a date. She’s happy with Iris, remember? _ Still, Andi couldn’t help but dress up, spending hours looking through her closet before deciding on a new-ish skirt and tank top. 

“Andi!”

She looks up to see her ex girlfriend wave, looking as pretty as ever in a crop top and skinny jeans. 

“Amber,” Andi smiles. “Hi.”

Amber stops in front of her, looking her up and down.

“You look nice,” she comments, eyebrows raised. 

“Thanks,” Andi can’t help but blush. _ Was it too much? _ “You too.”

“Ready to go, then?” Amber asks. Andi nods.

As they walk to the theater, Amber keeps up a stream of conversation, leaving Andi to stammer out semi-coherent responses while internally freaking out. Amber’s hand is mere inches away from hers, and she could probably brush against it and still be able to pass it as an ‘accident.’ 

_ Get a grip, Mack_, she tells herself firmly. She’s not about to interfere with a perfectly happy and loving relationship. 

“I’m so excited!” Amber exclaims as they reach the theater entrance. “I’ve been dying to see this movie ever since I read the book as a kid.”

“I didn’t know you liked horror movies,” Andi says, bemused. It feels like she’s missed something. She resists the urge to finish the sentence, to say, _ when we were together, at least_. She wonders if Amber knows what the hypothetical second half of the statement would’ve been.

“I wasn’t, before college,” Amber shrugs. “Iris got me into them. She really wanted to see the movie too, but she couldn’t make it today.”

“Ah. Iris,” Andi replies, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. The pieces fall into place as she registers the reason why Amber was so willing to hang out one on one with her despite having a girlfriend. She’s the second choice now, and it hurts. 

“Anyways,” Amber continues, unaware of how tragically she’s broken Andi’s heart into a million little pieces as they make their way to their seats, “are you excited?”

Andi attempts to muster a smile. “Sure.”

The movie doesn’t end up really fazing her, and she finds the monsters more absurd-looking than scary. Amber, on the other hand, for all her bluster about being a horror fanatic, ends up spending most of the time peeking out from behind her hair, and gripping Andi’s arm tightly in anticipation. Andi tries to pretend she doesn’t find the sensation of Amber’s hands around her, even when positioned in an uncomfortable manner, more thrilling than the movie itself. It makes it feel like a date, even though Amber has oh so clearly established otherwise. 

“That was scarier than I thought it would be!” Amber says in a hushed voice when the end credits appear on screen. She turns to Andi. “What did you think of it?”

“It was good,” Andi answers noncommittally. 

“That’s it?” Amber asks in disbelief. “You weren’t scared by any of it? Like at all?”

“I did like it,” Andi argues. “It just felt unnecessary. Like, the movie would’ve been over in 10 minutes if the white girl hadn’t been dumb enough to go into the obviously creepy haunted house.”

“Fine,” Amber acquiesces. And Andi swears it’s just a figment of her imagination, but she's almost positive she sees a disappointed look flash through Amber’s eyes at her unenthusiastic reaction. 

An air of uncertainty falls between them as they exit the theater, squinting at the sudden influx of light. 

“Sooo,” Amber drags out the word, fiddling with a loose strand of thread on her crop top, “want to go to the Spoon?”

“Sure,” Andi agrees, mostly because she doesn’t want their time together to end. 

That’s how they end up sitting across from each other in a familiar booth in a familiar place, making small talk and aimlessly scrolling through social media as they wait for their tater tots and milkshakes to arrive. 

“Oh, I forgot!” Amber says as she stops at a particular Instagram post. “It’s Cyrus and TJ’s three year anniversary today.”

“Wow, yeah,” Andi remarks, having stopped her scrolling to look at the same post. It’s a throwback picture of Cyrus and TJ during 8th grade graduation, arms wrapped around each other, beaming. 

“Can you believe they’ve been together for so long and are still so in love?” Amber says wistfully, staring off into the distance. “They’re relationship goals.”

And all of a sudden, Andi is whisked away to a distant yet familiar memory, of a formal; of longing; of mutual unspoken pining - _ “I wish I could have what they have.” “Yeah, me too.” _

“Andi?”

Andi jolts out of her memory to see Amber staring at her in confusion.

“Are you okay? I’ve been calling your name for the past couple of minutes, and you weren’t saying anything.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Andi apologizes. “I guess I got lost in thought.”

\--

“I just - even after all this time, I still love her, Libby. I know she has a girlfriend now, and I respect that, but it still felt like a date, even though it shouldn’t have.”

“Wow,” Libby comments dryly over the phone. “You’ve got it bad. Way worse than I could’ve predicted.”

Andi groans. “Way to make me feel better about it.”

“Okay, that’s it,” Libby says. “You need an intervention, and I have the perfect solution.”

“Libby, what are you planning?” Andi asks suspiciously. 

“Cancel your plans. I’m setting you up with someone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens!
> 
> tyrus got together towards the end of 8th grade, like in canon. it's the summer before their senior year, so that makes it three years in the timeline.
> 
> the movie they're watching is scary stories to tell in the dark. it's ambiguous in the story because it felt awkward directly name dropping. technically it's not realistic for them to be watching a 2019 movie when this part of the series takes place in summer 2021 but w/e. 
> 
> the conversation in andi’s memory is from part 1 of this series (which i hope you’ve read if you’re still here lol)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amber and iris' date at the carnival goes awry.

_ heard that the carnival’s in town this week. do you wanna go later? _

Amber sighs as she clicks on the incoming text notification from Iris. _ Not really_, she mentally responds in her head. She’s been feeling that way a lot lately - doing things with just Iris has become more of a chore than something she genuinely wants to do.

_ You’re going crazy_, Amber tells herself. She’s happy with Iris - she really is - but lately, things have been ... _ different _ between the two of them. She can’t put her finger on it. 

(Actually, she can, but it’s the truth she’s not ready to face.) 

She wonders if Iris suspects anything. Even if she did, Iris would be too nice to say anything; that’s just the kind of person she was.

_ sure :) _ Amber finally texts back, fingers hovering over the iPhone keyboard. 

_ yay! pick u up at 3? love u <3 _Iris’ response comes immediately, as if she had been sitting by her phone, anxiously waiting for a reply. 

Amber’s stomach lurches at the use of “love,” and she immediately hates herself. They exchanged I love yous ages ago, so why does this casual text all of a sudden matter? 

She loves Iris. She does. She has to. Right?

_ Maybe not, because you still love someone else_, a tiny part of her brain mocks. 

“Shut up!” Amber yells out loud to an empty room. “I love Iris.”

And that’s that.

\--

Iris is already waiting on the steps as Amber steps out of her house, sweeping her braids behind her. 

“Hi, baby,” Iris stands up to greet her, leaning in for a quick kiss. Amber obliges, albeit reluctantly. 

“Ready to go?”

“Um, I think so,” Amber answers, fumbling for her purse. “Let’s go.”

Hand in hand on the way to the fair, Amber forces a smile as she nods along to Iris’ rants about environmental activism. She loves that her girlfriend is such an activist, but right now, her head hurts, and she wants to go home. 

“Anyways,” Iris finishes her tirade, “how’s your day been?”

“Oh,” Amber falters, now that carrying the conversation is on her, “Um. Good.”

Iris squints at her suspiciously.

“Are you okay?” she asks. 

“Yes!” Amber replies, a little too forcefully. Clearing her throat awkwardly, she tries again. “Yeah. I’m, um, fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.”

“Are you still up for the carnival, then?” Iris asks, her concern enveloping Amber like a perfume scent that’s way too strong. She feels like she’s being smothered. She can’t breathe. She-

“I’m fine, okay?” Amber snaps. “I said I was fine, so.”

A look of hurt flashes over Iris’ face at the outburst, but it’s gone as quickly as it had come.

“Sorry,” Amber apologizes, guilt creeping in alongside the discomfort and confusion. “I know you meant well.”

“It’s okay,” Iris reassures her, and goddamnit, why does she have to be so _ nice _ about everything all the time?

The air is still awkward between them as they arrive at the ticket queue, and the guilt is eating Amber alive.

“Hey,” she finally turns to Iris, “I’m really sorry. I’m happy to be here with you.” 

Iris relaxes slightly, and Amber leans in for a kiss, more for Iris’ sake than for hers. 

“So, um, which ride do you want to go on first?” Amber asks as the person at the ticket counter finally hands them their unlimited wrist passes. 

Iris’ face lights up. “Let’s go on the roller coasters first! I know you love them the most. And then we can ride the Ferris Wheel last.”

“Sounds good,” Amber responds, as they join the line for the Trooper Looper. 

Screaming with the rest of the ridegoers, hair whipping madly in the wind, Amber finds herself actually having a good time. Her love for all things carnival has temporarily eased her mishmash of emotions, and she even happily poses for couple pictures in the photobooth afterwards. 

The sun’s just beginning to set when they finally make their way to the ferris wheel, stomachs stuffed with hot dogs and cake pops. Amber’s arms are full with a giant teddy bear Iris had somehow managed to win for her in a water gun game. 

“Where am I even supposed to put this thing?” Amber laughs as they join the line, which stretches from the base of the ferris wheel, through several roped lanes, to a lone Porta Potty ten feet away.

“Hey!” Iris exclaims in mock offense. “First of all, it’s not a _ thing_. It’s our son, Sir John the Third. Second of all, he’s coming with us, duh.”

“Sir John the Third?” Amber repeats incredulously. “Who are the other two? And why John, the most generic name ever?”

“Excuse me for my poor naming skills,” Iris tries to defend herself. “But he looks like a John, don’t you think?”

“Do I think all teddy bears look like Johns? No, not really,” Amber snarks in return. 

“Rude.” Iris sticks her tongue out. 

The line barely budges, even over the course of ten minutes, but Amber finds that she doesn't really mind. With the sun mostly out of the sky, the air is cool, and the wind blows pleasantly across her face. It’s also a good chance for her to passively observe other people in line, learn out of context snippets of their lives. 

They’ve just entered the roped area when Amber turns to look at the lane across from hers and freezes. Standing there, leaning against the ropes, is an all too familiar figure - one she had tried so hard to get out of her head these past few weeks.

Amber’s eyes follow Andi’s arm, which is outstretched and ...linked to another person’s hand. Her heart drops. 

Standing next to Andi, and having the audacity to hold her hand, is none other than Kira Summers.

“Ummm,” she stammers to Iris, who looks up from her phone, confused. “I, uh - I have to go.”

And before Iris can say anything, she drops Sir John the Third, ducks under the rope, and sprints out of line, as far as she can go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we more than halfway through the story! woohoo!
> 
> another saturday update, sorry. college is really breaking me down :/ 
> 
> also, just another reminder i'm not here for shaming any female character in this story :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andi and kira try things out. andi has a revelation.

_ “Libby, I don’t think this is a good idea.” _

_ “At least give it a try, Andi. I’m sick of you moping about Amber over the phone.” _

_ “Gee, thanks.” _

_ As Andi and Libby make their way to the designated meeting spot of the swing set, Andi sees that her blind date is already there. She squints at the familiar looking set of curls. It couldn’t possibly be…? _

_ “Kira! This is my friend Andi, from school. Andi, Kira.” _

_ Whatever Andi had been expecting when Libby declared that she was setting her up with someone, it definitely wasn’t this. From the surprised look on Kira’s face as she turns around, Andi knew she wasn’t alone. _

_ Libby looks from Andi to Kira, confused. “Okay ...by the looks on your faces it seems that you two already know each other. How is that?” _

_ At this, Kira’s face turns red, and she looks mildly sheepish. _

_ “Where do I start? She tried to sabotage Buffy and the basketball team, and tried to make Cyrus jealous by spending time with TJ,” Andi comments dryly. _

_ Libby turns to Kira, shocked. “You did what?!” _

_ “In my defense, that was in middle school,” Kira attempts to stand up for herself. “And I was going through a lot of internalized homophobia and denial. I came out as bi two years later.” _

_ “...Oh.” Andi says. While she’s still kind of mad about how the whole thing went down, it _ had _ been four years ago. _

_ “Wait,” she says, another thought coming to her. “How do you two know each other?” _

_ “Our moms are friends,” Libby explains. “We’ve been going to each other’s houses since elementary school.” _

_ “Wow,” Andi remarks. “Small world.” _

_ “Well, I guess my plan of trying to set you two up doesn’t really work if you two already know each other, then,” Libby points out. _

_ Andi considers it. While she isn’t anywhere near over Amber, it would be good to get out there and at least try to move on, no matter how reluctant she feels. And if Cyrus could forgive TJ for his own internalized homophobia and even end up in a happy relationship together, why couldn’t Andi? _

_ “No,” Andi says. “It’s fine. We can try it.” _

_ What is she getting herself into? _

\--

“Libby tried to set you up with Kira?!?!”

“Not tried to,” Andi corrects Buffy, barely looking up from her intense stirring. Double checking the recipe, Andi carefully pours in the melted butter. “She did. We’re ...trying things out.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Cyrus pipes up from his seat at the counter. “Both of you?”

“She’s not that bad,” Andi defends. “It was kind of awkward at first, but she’s actually really witty and funny.”

“And I’m fine with it,” Buffy shrugs. “I mean, nobody was their best self in middle school. I don’t even really remember it, honestly.”

“Yeah,” Andi says. “And she seems genuinely sorry for what she did, so I might as well give it a try.”

“Well, it’s good that you’re trying to move on from Amber,” Cyrus tries to reassure her.

“Yeah,” Buffy nods. “Just be careful, okay?”

“In other news, the carnival’s in town today!” Cyrus exclaims unexpectedly, nearly toppling out of his stool. “We should go after Andi’s finished with her cupcakes.”

“Don’t you want to go with TJ?” Buffy points out. 

“I can go with him later this week,” Cyrus dismisses her concerns. “But us three, we haven’t gone out together as a trio in forever.”

“That does sound like fun,” Andi admits. “Kira wanted to go too, but I guess I can meet up with her later.”

“Yay!” Cyrus cheers, clapping his hands.

An hour later, when the cupcakes have been freshly taken out of the oven (and mostly devoured by Cyrus), they head out for the carnival. 

“Are you sure you can ride the roller coasters?” Buffy questions as they arrive, looking at Cyrus skeptically. “You just ate, like, five cupcakes.”

Cyrus pats his stomach confidently. “Don’t worry about me, Buff. I got this.”

“If you say so,” Buffy rolls her eyes. 

Once they’ve received their unlimited ride wristbands, Andi, Buffy and Cyrus eagerly race through the entrance, going straight for the Monster Dash before the line gets too long. Andi swears she sees a flash of familiar blond hair through the corner of her eye, but dismisses it as a figment of her imagination. 

As the hours pass by, Andi lets herself temporarily forget about her worries. There’s no better feeling, she thinks, than screaming and cheering with the other ride goers as the coaster teeters on the edge before the drop, and spending quality time with her best friends.

_ It would be better_, a tiny voice at the back of her head taunts, _ if you were doing it with someone else_. 

“Shut up,” Andi mutters to herself.

“What was that?” Buffy turns her head in question as they’re standing in another line.

“Nothing,” Andi replies immediately. Buffy looks doubtful, but she thankfully lets it go. 

The sky is a mix of reds, yellows, and the tiniest bit of purples when Andi bids goodbye to her friends and walks back towards the entrance to pick up Kira. 

“Hi,” she says, almost shyly, when she sees her.

Kira waves. “Hey.”

“I already rode most of the rides with Buffy and Cyrus,” Andi admits sheepishly.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Kira says. “I don’t really like roller coasters.”

“You don’t?” Andi cocks her head. “You seem so fearless, though.”

Kira laughs. “In everything but roller coasters, I guess.” 

“I guess we can go on the ferris wheel?” Andi suggests.

Kira nods. “That sounds good.”

They set off, shoulders bumping against each other, but both reluctant to actually make a move. It’s a mix of small talk and Kira showing Andi pictures of her new puppy as they join the line for the ferris wheel, which was longer than Andi had expected.

They’re nearly at the front, having weaved through the various roped lanes, when Andi can feel Kira’s pinky brush against hers ever so slightly. Taking the hint, she reaches for her hand. Kira’s hand is surprisingly soft for a basketball player, but it feels different. Strange.

_ You can’t compare everyone against Amber_, Andi reminds herself, squeezing her eyes shut. _ Especially not when it’s so new. _

Suddenly, she’s slammed with a wave of memories - from this very carnival, no less - of shrieking on roller coasters, stuffing their mouths with chicken wings, and holding hands and kissing when they reached the top of the ferris wheel, when Andi thought she could never be happier.

And she knows.

“Kira,” she says, opening her eyes. Besides her, Kira looks up from her phone. “I can’t do this. It still hurts too much. I’m sorry.”

Kira’s face falls slightly, but she seems resigned to their fate. 

“It’s okay,” she says, pulling her hand out of Andi’s. “I get it. I’m getting over a break up, too. That’s why Libby wanted to set me up.”

“It sucks, right?” Andi remarks sympathetically. “But I hope we can still be friends.”

“Amber!” A familiar voice calls from behind them. “Amber! Where are you going?”

Turning, Andi and Kira see a girl sprint from the queue, with Iris watching her leave in a mix of confusion and dejection.

Kira smiles slightly. “Go get your girl.”

Nodding her thanks, Andi ducks under the rope and is about to follow Amber when a hand stops her.

“Hey,” Iris says, standing in front of her. “Can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only bad thing about the show's ending was that kira didn't get a redemption arc and i will fight anyone who thinks that the only other black girl on the show isn't/wasn't deserving of one. we stan growth, especially since they were literally all 13 year old children.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amber knows two things. 
> 
> one: she's not over andi. not by a long shot. 
> 
> two: andi's with kira now. she has to accept that.
> 
> but how can she, when it still hurts so much?

When Amber finally comes to a stop, she doesn’t know where she is.

Turning around, she sees crowds of happy, oblivious carnival-goers, eating cotton candy and cheering happily on the rides like they hadn’t just seen their ex holding hands with another girl. 

Andi. And Kira. Together. She can’t get the image of them holding hands out of her mind, and all of a sudden, she wants to throw up.

She remembers it all - the absolute heartbreak that coursed through her veins, the way she threw an irrelevant teddy bear to the ground in her haste, leaving Iris behind -

Wait. Iris. Holy shit. Amber had been so caught up with Andi, she had nearly forgotten about her current girlfriend. A fresh wave of guilt slams across her body, intermingling with the nausea. 

Pulling out her phone, Amber sees a slew of missed calls and frantic texts.

_ amber, where are you going? _

_ baby please come back :( _

_ i’m really worried about you, call me back? _

_ where are you? _

And then, a final text sent several minutes later apart from the others,

_ we should talk. _

At those three words, the hairs on Amber’s neck raise up. She has a bad feeling as to where the conversation would go, or in particular, how it would end, but she owes Iris this, at the very least.

Attempting to retrace her steps, Amber finally makes her way back to the ferris wheel. Kira and Andi are nowhere to be seen, but Iris is standing just outside the queue, looking dejected. Amber hates herself for being the reason for the sadness in her eyes. 

At the sound of her approaching footsteps, Iris looks up. 

“Iris,” Amber says breathlessly. “I am SO sorry. I don’t know-”

“Let’s just get this over with, okay, Amber?” Iris interrupts her. She points to a bench a couple feet away. “Let’s sit.”

“Oh,” Amber says. “Sure.”

As Iris sits down, she’s silent for the briefest of moments. Amber waits with trepidation.

“So,” Iris breaks the silence, “I talked to Andi.”

“You did?” Amber asks nervously. If Iris told Andi the truth, then -

“You still have feelings for her, don’t you?” Iris cuts to the chase. Amber can’t bear to look her in the eye. 

“I don’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, Amber.” Iris interrupts her for the second time, but Amber’s honestly kind of relieved; she doesn’t want to know what she would’ve said at the end of that sentence. “I can see the way you look at her. You never stopped loving her, have you?”

Amber sighs - there’s nowhere to hide, now that the truth is out in the open. “I’m sorry, Iris.”

“I don’t want to be second place in your life,” Iris continues. “I deserve better than that.”

“Yeah,” Amber agrees. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on after I realized I wasn’t over her.”

“Thanks for saying that,” Iris looks down, fidgeting with a loose thread on her shorts. “You’re forgiven.”

It’s still awkwardly tense between the two of them. Amber casts around for something, anything to say, to break the silence. 

“Well, I hope we can still be friends?” She finally manages to ask.

Iris shrugs. “Maybe. I need time, Amber. I loved you and our relationship, and I don’t know if I can just go straight back to how it was before.”

Amber’s heart sinks at those words, but she nods. “I understand. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll see you around,” Iris says. Standing up, she turns to leave, only to stop in her tracks and turn back around again.

“And for the record,” she says, “Andi still has feelings for you, too.”

Iris turns back around and walks off before Amber has time to formulate a response. She distractedly watches her now ex-girlfriend leave, thinking of Iris’ last words to her.

_ Andi still has feelings for you, too. _

For a second, the torment in her heart is replaced with hope. She hasn’t felt this light in ages, she -

As quickly as the spark of hope had arrived, it’s immediately diminished by reality.

_ She’s with Kira now, remember? _ The ugly, truthful side of her brain reminds her. _ She’s obviously over it. _

A few minutes, or a few hours, for all she knows, passes by as Amber remains at the bench, contemplating the words in her head. Had they been a cruel taunt, thrown at her out of spite? Or was there actually some merit to them?

When she finally gets up to go home, she’s almost come to terms with the truth: Andi didn’t, and would never have feelings for her ever again. 

\--

Aside from TJ, she doesn’t tell anyone about her breakup with Iris. (For the first few days, at least.) 

But then with TJ comes Cyrus, and his group of friends, and soon they’re all questioning why Iris isn’t hanging out with them. It’s only then that she’s forced to admit the truth.

“Oh,” Cyrus says sympathetically. “I’m sorry.” Behind him, Andi and Buffy look on, nodding.

Amber hates the pity in their eyes, especially Andi’s. The thought of Andi being with another girl who could make her happy the way Amber couldn’t is almost unbearable. She can’t bring herself to look at Andi, who’s ever so oblivious to the fact that she’s the source of her anguish. 

Inevitably though, since she clearly likes making herself suffer, Amber finds herself agreeing to a one-on-one hangout with Andi. 

“How are you, really?” Andi asks, as she slides into the booth across from Amber.

Amber shrugs. “I’m fine. I’m mostly over it, honestly.” And it’s the truth - she knows that her feelings for Iris have long been gone; maybe they disappeared the second she saw Andi again for the first time in a year. 

Andi looks doubtful. “Are you sure?” she asks.

“Yes,” Amber says. “God, you’re just like TJ.”

“Oh,” Andi says, looking hurt. “Sorry.”

“No no no, that’s not a bad thing!” Amber immediately backtracks, hurrying to justify herself, to get the hurt expression off Andi’s face as fast as possible. “It’s just that I really am fine. Getting better, at least.”

“Oh,” Andi says again. This time, a new expression crosses her face, one that Amber can’t decipher. “Well, that’s good.”

Amber’s so tempted to ask how things are going with Kira. She’s dying to know all the details - of how Kira’s hand feels compared to Amber’s, the soft kisses that they share - 

_ No. _ She firmly cuts off that train of thought before it can fully form. She might be hurting, but she’s not going to poke at the wound any more than she already is. 

Plastering a smile on her face, Amber turns to Andi. 

“Yeah,” she says. “It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we love miscommunication :')


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andi and amber catch up. feelings ensue.

_ “Can we talk?” _

_ Andi’s blood runs cold at the question, and its implications. She looks up, where Iris is still waiting expectantly for an answer. _

_ “Sure,” she finally replies. “Let’s talk.” _

_ Iris guides them to a nearby bench, where they sit. Andi anxiously waits for her to talk. _

_ Finally, Iris breaks the silence. “You still have feelings for Amber, don’t you?” _

_ “I-” Andi splutters. Had she been so obvious the whole time? _

_ “What-” she tries again, and then sighs. There’s nowhere to hide; she might as well tell Iris the truth. “Yes. But, I know you two are together, and I really respect your relationship. I didn’t try to flirt with her or make any advances at all, I swear.” _

_ “I believe you,” Iris says, fiddling with the paw of a giant stuffed teddy bear. She sighs before she next speaks. _

_ “Did you know that Amber ran because she saw you and Kira together?” _

_ Andi sits up, shocked. If Amber ran away because of her, that would mean- _

_ No. She can’t think like this. She can’t get her hopes up like this again. _

_ “No, that can’t be,” Andi argues. “Amber loves you. She told me herself.” _

_ “No, Amber _ loved _ me,” Iris corrects her. “But I’m pretty sure I became second place the moment you came back into her life.” _

_ “That’s not true,” Andi responds. “If Amber really felt that way, she would’ve broken up with you, right? She would only stay with someone if she loved them.” _

_ Iris shrugs. “I don’t think Amber even realized her feelings were back until she saw you guys today.” _

_ “Oh,” Andi says. She’s at a loss for words. If Amber still had feelings for her - _

_ “Anyways,” Iris’ voice interrupts Andi’s train of thought. She stands up. “When Amber comes back, I’m going to break up with her. I only ask that you give it some time before you tell her about your feelings.” _

_ “I’m sorry, Iris,” Andi says. “But don’t worry, I’m not telling her anything.” _

_ At this, Iris smiles sadly. “If you love someone, and they love you back, that’s worth saying something, don’t you think?” _

\--

“You did _ what_?”

Amber laughs, tossing her hair behind her as she resettles herself onto the blanket. “I said you couldn’t judge me! I was drunk, okay?”

They’re laying in the grass, watching the sun set and reminiscing on the past year, and Andi has never felt more content.

“I wish I could’ve been there,” she says. “Drunk Amber seems like so much fun. Unlike sober Amber,” she teases.

“Hey!” Amber exclaims, but she’s laughing all the same. “College parties in general, though, are just a mess.”

“I’ll bet,” Andi says. “I can’t wait to experience one this time next year.”

“Oh yeah,” Amber says. “College app season is coming up for you. That sucks.”

“Well, I watched you make it through pretty well, right?” Andi says. They both fail to mention the late nights they had spent together, Andi listening to Amber’s worries about not getting into Georgia Tech, the prospect of a long-distance relationship. 

“I guess,” Amber says. “But don’t expect me to do the same for you. You couldn’t pay me to relive the stress again.”

“Gotcha,” Andi replies. “But you’ll be thousands of miles away again, busy with your own stuff, anyway.”

It feels like the wrong thing to say. Amber immediately sobers up, and doesn’t say anything for several moments. 

“But this time, we can keep in touch,” Andi prods nervously. “Right?”

Finally, Amber relaxes ever so slightly. “Yeah, Bambi. I guess we can.”

Andi’s heart squeezes at the use of the familiar nickname, which she hasn’t heard in over a year. Amber also seems to realize the slip, and blushes. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay!” Andi says. “I always liked when you called me that.”

“Oh.” Amber’s face turns even redder at that.

“Anyways,” Andi’s quick to change the subject, “what else about college can you tell me about? Besides your wild social life?”

“Right,” Amber replies, equally relieved at the turn of the conversation. “I don’t know what else there is to say. It’s just so much better than Jefferson ever was! There are so many new classes to take and clubs to try - you’ll just have to see when you get in to your dream school.”

“Speaking of,” Amber turns to her, “what is your dream school, anyways? Do you think you’re going to be an art major?”

“You sound like Cece,” Andi remarks dryly. “Always asking me about what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.”

“Sorry,” Amber apologizes. “I’m just curious.”

“It’s fine,” Andi replies. “I think I want to go to art school? If not, I guess I would minor in art. But I’ve been looking at schools, and some of them have design and art programs that sound so cool.”

“Like what you’ve been doing at SAVA?” Amber asks. 

“Pretty much,” Andi nods. “What I like about SAVA is that they give you so much freedom on your projects. Do you remember way back in middle school when I used art I had laying around to make a picture of me after people assumed I was into math and science because I’m Asian? I really like incorporating activism and community service into the stuff I do at SAVA.”

“That’s seriously so impressive,” Amber remarks admiringly. “I bet you’ll get into every school you apply to.”

“No, you can’t say that,” Andi says seriously. “I’m sure there are equally or more talented people who are also applying to those schools.”

“Yeah, but you’re definitely going to stand out,” Amber says. “Trust me.”

Andi smiles. “Thanks.” Even though she knows it’s just Amber being nice, her heart flutters with hope anyways. 

“This is nice,” Amber comments suddenly. “Us, catching up. It feels like we haven’t talked like this in forever.”

“Yeah,” Andi says, propping up on her elbows. “You’re right.”

Amber readjusts so that she’s also leaning on her elbows, and turns to look at Andi. They seem so much more intimate - Amber seems so much closer - than before, and all of a sudden, Andi can’t breathe. 

The colors of the fading sun illuminate Amber’s summer tan, the nearly invisible freckles that spatter her cheeks, and all Andi wants to do is to touch, to capture the art as best she could, even though any attempt would never compare to the real thing. 

Their lips are inches apart, and Andi knows she could go for it; they’re _ so close _ -

Abruptly, Amber pulls away, and the moment is gone. Andi can feel the disappointment seep in, cold as ice, a stark contrast to the warmth of the day. 

“What are you thinking about?” Amber asks her, oblivious to her inner turmoil. She wonders if Amber had felt the tension from before too. 

But then reality sinks in. Amber’s clearly not over her breakup with Iris, and even if she was, it still didn’t mean anything. 

_You broke her heart, remember? You don’t deserve her._

“Nothing,” Andi replies. 

She’s never hated herself more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is clearly a filler aaaa so sorry! chapter 12 is where shit will finally go down, i promise.
> 
> but also tbh i really wanted to flesh out andi's characterization wrt her art, and showcase some of amber's college life


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> marty and jonah's EP release party. andi's inches from her, and amber's not drunk enough for this. 
> 
> tw // underage drinking

_ You’re invited: Come join us for the premiere of our debut EP, Sunlight! Meet and greet with Jonah and Marty, first come first serve. _

When Amber receives the invitation, she immediately calls Jonah.

“I didn’t know you and Marty made music,” she says, before Jonah can speak.

“We only started last year,” Jonah replies. “I’m assuming you saw the invite?”

“Yeah,” Amber says. “Why’s it so fancy? Meet and greet? Who actually wants to meet you guys?”

“We have fans,” Jonah responds, miffed. “Look us up on Soundcloud if you want. We’re not bad!”

“Alright, alright.” Amber teases. “I’ll be there. Thanks for inviting me.”

She calls Andi after she hangs up. When she questions the girl about the invite, she doesn’t sound surprised.

“Yeah, I’ve even got to listen in on some of the recording process,” Andi comments. “They’re really not that bad for people who only started doing this a year ago. Why are you so surprised?”

“I don’t know,” Amber wonders aloud. “I guess I just didn’t think they would actually professionally release their own music.”

“Well, you should listen to it,” Andi says. “Are you going to the party?”

“I guess I am, since TJ’s going,” Amber replies. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Andi answers, and Amber’s heart brightens. “See you there?”

“See you.” Amber hangs up, and wonders what she should wear. 

Hours later, when the sun’s rays have long disappeared from the sky, Amber and TJ make their way over to Marty’s house, elaborately decorated with lights shaped like music notes and photobooth props strewn across the lawn. 

“I’m going to find Cyrus,” TJ says, ever the predictable sibling. “See you later, sis.”

He disappears into the house, and Amber is left squinting in the dark as she attempts to navigate to the backyard. As she enters, she sees Andi sitting and laughing with a girl who looks familiar, but is someone she doesn’t fully recognize.

When Andi spots her, she smiles brightly and waves her over. Andi’s friend gives her a side eye Amber can’t decipher. 

“Hi Amber!” she says happily, taking a swig out of her solo cup. “This is Libby.”

The pieces fall into place as Amber takes a good look at Libby, and realizes why the girl had looked so familiar. 

“You’re Jonah’s ex, right?” she squints. “Nice to meet you officially.”

“Don’t remind me,” Libby grimaces. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Hey, look,” Amber says, a revelation coming to her suddenly. “All of us have dated Jonah at some point.”

Andi shakes her head, but she’s smiling. “I heard that he likes someone else now.”

“Really?” Amber says interestedly. “Who is it?”

“He wouldn’t tell me,” Andi replies. “Which must mean it’s someone we know.”

“Okay, we have to figure it out by the end of the night,” Amber says, Andi nodding along vigorously. 

“TJ, are you out here?” A familiar voice calls. “You said you’d show me - oh.”

Iris comes to a stop in front of where Amber, Andi and Libby are sitting, and grimaces. Amber stiffens.

“Hi Iris,” she says carefully. She hasn’t seen her ex-girlfriend since they broke up, and it’s still awkward. 

“Hey Amber,” Iris responds in a stilted voice. “Have you seen your brother? He said he was going to show me something.”

“No, sorry,” Amber answers. As awkward silence ensues, she wishes she could sink through the ground.

“Anyways,” Andi hastily breaks the silence, “Iris, have you met my friend Libby? I think you guys would get along.”

“Nice to meet you,” Iris tells Libby politely. 

“You too,” Libby says. “You’re a computer science major, right? I actually work with the intersection of coding and art at SAVA.”

Iris’ eyes light up in a way Amber hasn’t seen since they were together. “Yes! And that’s so interesting.”

Amber watches as the two quickly get engrossed in a rapid-fire discussion about computers, full of technical jargon that makes Amber’s head spin; eventually, they make a flimsy excuse to leave, still chattering away.

“...What just happened?” Amber asks bemusedly, turning to Andi.

“I figured they’d get along,” Andi shrugs. “It’s good to see Libby with someone who can actually keep up with her.”

“I’m happy for Iris, too,” Amber admits. “She deserves someone like Libby.”

“Yeah.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, until Marty’s voice rings out through a bullhorn. “Time for the meet and greet! Everyone, come inside!”

Andi laughs. “People are actually here to meet them?”

“That’s what I said to Jonah,” Amber says. “Want to go inside and see?”

Andi nods. “Sure.”

As they enter the living room, Amber swiping her own solo cup from the kitchen they pass by, Amber sees a crowd of people around Marty and Jonah, excitedly asking for selfies.

“Wow,” Andi comments. “I guess they’re actually kind of famous.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t get to their heads,” Amber remarks dryly, taking a sip from her own solo cup. She vaguely wonders where Marty had gotten the grape vodka she tastes. 

Andi chuckles. “Yeah. Want to dance?”

Andi wants to dance with her? Amber’s not drunk enough for this. Downing her solo cup in one gulp, Amber nods. “Let’s do it.”

Andi takes her hand, and Amber’s a goner. Joining the rest of the dance floor, they’re inches apart as they dance to the thumping beat of the music. Over Andi’s head, she can see Libby and Iris sitting together to the side, heads close. 

Iris deserves to be happy, Amber thinks, in a way that she couldn’t satisfy. 

It’s probably due to a combination of seeing Iris so visibly move on, the alcohol coursing through her veins, and her mess of feelings about being so close to Andi, but Amber suddenly feels overwhelmed. 

“Hey,” she yells in Andi’s ear, above the noise, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

Once she shuts the door, muffling the sounds from downstairs, Amber sits on the toilet, catching her breath. 

Maybe this is a sign, she thinks. If Iris can move on, so can she. If Andi’s willing to hold her hand and dance with her, that must mean she’s interested. Right? 

Confident in what she has to do, Amber makes her way back downstairs. She’s ready to tell Andi the truth and try again; she-

At the head of the stairs, Amber can directly see Andi by the door, welcoming Kira in and reaching for a hug.

Crap. In the midst of everything, she had forgotten the reality of why she couldn’t go after Andi. Andi’s with Kira now, and she has to accept that.

The floating feeling that had been in her stomach mere moments earlier has vanished, and without a word, Amber heads for the alcohol. 

She’s on her third cup when a hand rests on her shoulder. Whirling around, she sees Andi looking at her, concerned.

“Haven’t you had enough?” Andi asks, so gently that it makes Amber want to cry. 

“Nope,” Amber says, ready to drink until she blacks out. Unfortunately, Andi has no intentions of letting her. 

“Hey,” Andi coaxes her. “Let’s go outside.”

_I can’t be around you,_ Amber wants to protest, but Andi’s already taken her hand and guided her towards the porch.

“You should drink some water,” Andi says, brandishing a cup of water out of nowhere. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Amber responds, taking a small sip. It doesn’t make her feel any better, but alas, how do you tell the girl you’re hopelessly in love with the truth?

“Amber,” Andi says, and as Amber looks up, Andi’s face is all of a sudden much closer than it was before. “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Amber asks. Her question is answered when Andi’s lips meet hers. 

Even after a year, the sensation is so overwhelmingly familiar. Right. It sounds cliche, but Amber can literally feel the sparks fly and fireworks explode around them. Time slows down as they kiss, and Amber knows she’ll never ever take this for granted again. 

But then the logical, sensible part of her brain has to ruin it. 

_ She’s with Kira! You can’t be her second choice! _

Amber pulls away, her insides feeling like ice. She stares at Andi, who’s turning increasingly red.

“I’m - I’m so sorry,” she stammers. “I thought you still had feelings - I broke up with Kira and everything - I’ll just go.”

Amber only registers one part of that sentence. Andi’s not with Kira? That means…

She almost wants to laugh. The source of her anguish had only been a matter of miscommunication that could’ve been resolved ages ago.

Amber finally opens her mouth to speak, but unfortunately, Andi has misinterpreted her lack of a response, and is standing up to leave.

“Andi, wait -” she says, but it’s too late; Andi’s gone, disappearing back inside the crowd, with virtually no hope of finding her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay stuff finally happened! this took me so long to get right ahhh


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath, part 1.

“You did WHAT?”

Andi groans, rummaging through the cabinet. “I know it was dumb, okay, Buffy? And keep your voice down, I’m hungover.” 

“Here, take a painkiller,” Cyrus offers. Andi accepts it gratefully. “And it’ll be okay. You just have to go and tell her the truth.”

“What?” Andi rubs her forehead as she swallows the pill. “I can’t do that. I’m not gonna willingly embarrass myself in front of her again.”

“You can’t avoid her forever, Andi,” Buffy points out. “And besides, she kissed you back! That’s a good sign, right?”

“Did you forget the part where she pulled away, because she clearly thought it was wrong?” Andi retorts. 

“Maybe she only did it because she thought you were with Kira,” Cyrus reasons. 

“And you were pretty drunk,” Buffy adds. “So maybe she thought you wouldn’t be into it when sober.”

“Well, whatever the reason, I’m not asking,” Andi says. “I’m basically setting myself up to get rejected and hurt all over again.”

“That’s a terrible way of looking at it, and you know it,” Buffy crosses her arms. “Stop with the miscommunication shit and just talk to her!”

“Can you guys just let this go?” Andi sighs. “I shouldn’t have done it, and now I’ve ruined everything.”

Cyrus and Buffy wordlessly exchange looks, but thankfully, the subject is dropped. 

\--

“You did WHAT?”

“Stop it, TJ!” Amber snaps. “I know what I did was stupid.”

“You jumped to conclusions when you could’ve just asked her about Kira,” TJ says. “And I thought us gays were bad at communicating.”

Amber rolls her eyes. “Help me fix it, then.”

“Just talk to her,” TJ replies, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “And tell her the truth.”

“But what if it was a fluke?” Amber asks worriedly. “What if she only did it because she was drunk?”

“Are you purposely trying to overthink this?” TJ responds. “She clearly has feelings for you if she was the one who kissed you. Now go text her.”

“Fine,” Amber says. “But you better be right about this.”

\--

_ hi bambi! can we talk? _

_ andi, i’m not mad at you or judging you. pls say something :) _

_ andi, i’m worried. talk to me? _

_ are we okay? we just got our friendship back :( _

_ sorry if i did something wrong. _

Andi sighs as she stares at the five messages from Amber, sent over the span of three days. She hates herself for being weak and avoiding her problems. She hates herself even more for making Amber think she’s to blame for what’s going on. 

Andi’s fingers hover over the keyboard, searching for the perfect response, anything that could possibly remedy the situation.

_ No, _ I’m _ sorry_, she wants to say. _ I’m sorry for ruining our friendship, just when we had started to get it back. I’m sorry that I’m still in love with you, when you clearly don’t feel that way about me anymore. _

_ I’m sorry for letting you go in the first place. _

But the sentences are deleted just as quickly as they’re typed out, because Andi will never be ready for this.

“I’m sorry, Amber,” she whispers. “But it’s for the best.”

\--

Amber stares dejectedly at her text conversation with Andi. She knows Andi’s avoiding her; all five of her most recent messages have gone unreplied. 

All of it feels wrong. The world had righted itself when Andi had kissed her at the party, and just as quickly, it’s gone back to being unbalanced. She feels like she’s teetering, one step away from finally falling off the cliff.

Amber thinks of what would’ve happened had she not been stupid enough to end the kiss. Maybe they would’ve gotten back together by now - the way it used to be, only better. This time around, they would be smarter, more mature, more ready to take on the world. 

They could’ve been everything, until she pulled away. 

And it’s all her fault.

\--

“Andi’s moping, and it’s really killing our vibe.”

“Same here with Amber,” TJ says, crunching down on a tater tot. “But to be fair, she reached out first. It’s on Andi to make the next move.”

“I’ll tell her, but I’ll doubt she’ll listen,” Cyrus says, taking a sip out of his milkshake. “When will they stop being such disasters?”

“You mean, when will they stop dancing around their feelings for each other?” TJ replies. “Never, on their own.”

_ On their own. _ Cyrus smiles as an idea comes to him. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“As in, we're going to set them up?” TJ replies, raising an eyebrow. 

Cyrus grins. “Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for another short filler chapter :/ but that makes the next part more worth it!
> 
> also, i can't believe we're almost at the end! thanks to anyone who's still here :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath, part 2.

“Leave me alone, TJ.”

“Come on, Amber,” TJ whines, ever the annoying little brother. “I won’t let you mope about Andi any longer. Let’s go out, just the two of us.”

“Why can’t you go with Cyrus?” Amber shoots back. “You’re always hanging out with him, anyway.” It’s unnecessarily mean-spirited, and she feels the tiniest bit of guilt when a hurt look crosses over TJ’s face.

“Well, I want to hang out with you today,” TJ responds, otherwise ignoring Amber’s jab. “Is it a crime to want to spend time with my favorite big sister?”

“Your only big sister,” Amber corrects, but she’s smiling; despite her bad mood, she appreciates him for trying. “Fine. Let’s go.”

“Yes!” TJ cheers as they head outside. “But you’re driving.”

“Wow, inviting me out yet making me drive?” Amber catches the keys TJ tosses her. “Should’ve known about your ulterior motives.”

All in all, it’s an afternoon well-spent, and they end the day by going to the park. 

“Ooh, let’s go canoeing!” TJ exclaims, running towards the dock. 

“These clothes are too cute to get wet, TJ!” Amber runs after him, trying to prevent him from signing them up for a canoe when - oh.

Sitting at the edge of the dock, kicking her feet in the water, is none other than the one person who’s been occupying Amber’s thoughts for the past two weeks. 

Andi turns around, looking as shocked as Amber feels. “Amber? What are you doing here?”

“I was going to go canoeing with TJ,” Amber replies. “But I…..” 

And then it hits her. She almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of Cyrus and TJ being this invested in their love lives if she hadn’t just spent the past two weeks moping. It’s deja vu; she flashes back to sitting at a booth in the Spoon, impatiently waiting for TJ to arrive, when…

Looking up, Amber sees that Andi has come to the same conclusion. She sighs. “I guess I should’ve known this was coming.”

All of a sudden, seeing Andi so resigned to this fate, but acting as if it’s the last thing she wants, Amber is furious. She swore she wasn’t mad, but all the pent-up frustration, heartbreak and guilt inside her finally make their way to the surface, and she explodes. 

“What the fuck, Andi?” she yells. “You fucking ghosted me for two weeks and would’ve avoided me forever if TJ and Cyrus hadn’t planned this little shenanigan out, and you won’t even give me an explanation? We were actually friends again, but friends don’t do this to each other. At the very least, I deserve an apology.”

At Amber’s words, a pained look crosses Andi’s face. “You’re right. I deserved all of that, and I’m sorry.”

Amber wants to cry, but she pushes away the tears threatening to flow down her face. “If that’s all you have to say, then I’m sorry too. I’ll see you around.”

She turns around, preparing to leave and find TJ to yell at him, too, when Andi’s all of a sudden standing in front of her, reaching out for her hand.

“I wasn’t done,” Andi says. “You do deserve an explanation, and I”m giving it to you.”

“Okay,” Amber says cautiously. “Spill.”

Andi takes a deep breath. “I love you, Amber Kippen,” she declares. “I gave you my heart the second we first got together, and you never gave it back. I never stopped loving you, even when we broke up. I thought about you every day, and regretted the way we handled things - no, regretted the way _I_ handled things. And all I wanted was to be with you again, but I knew you didn’t have feelings for me anymore, so I thought avoiding you would make it easier for me. But that was selfish of me to do without considering your feelings, so I’m sorry.”

Amber is floored. It isn’t until now, hearing Andi’s explicit confirmation, that the possibility of Andi returning her feelings feels like a reality. 

But there’s one thing Andi’s gotten completely wrong in her spiel. 

Looking up from collecting her thoughts, Amber sees Andi anxiously waiting for her response. 

She can’t help but laugh at how the tables have turned. “That was so romantic. I feel like we’re in a rom-com or something.”

“Yeah, well,” Andi blushes furiously, “you deserve to have romantic speeches said at you forever. And I know you don’t love me like that anymore, but I-”

Unable to let Andi talk nonsense any longer, Amber steps forward, silencing her with a kiss. 

Unlike the kiss at the party, there’s no obvious spark between them. Instead, Amber feels complete and total comfort; it feels like coming home. At last, they’re on the same page again.

Well, almost. Amber pulls back, resting her forehead on Andi’s. 

“I love you too, dumbass,” she says. “I don’t think I ever stopped, either. Why did you think I kissed you back?”

“But you pulled away,” Andi’s brows furrow in confusion. 

“That’s because I thought you were still with Kira!” Amber explains. “You never told me you guys weren’t a thing anymore.”

“Well, you never asked,” Andi laughs. “I thought her not being around made it kind of obvious.”

“It wasn’t. I guess we really need to improve on communicating,” Amber points out, but she’s smiling. 

“Well, we have time,” Andi says, before an anxious look crosses her face. She turns to Amber, almost for clarification. “Right?”

“Right.” 

Amber knows that the road ahead will be long and winding, and she knows that this second attempt at long distance won’t be any easier than the first. 

But this time, she can’t help but have a good feeling about it.

“Wanna go home now, real girlfriend?” Andi asks, extending her hand. 

Amber grins, taking it. “As much as I would love to, real girlfriend, TJ has the car keys. In fact, I’m not even sure where he went.”

“Actually, I don’t know where Cyrus went, either,” Andi responds, laughing. “Probably to hang out with TJ.” 

“We probably owe them a thank you for doing this,” Amber says. “Twice.”

“After we’re done yelling at them for meddling,” Andi adds. 

“Right.” Amber laughs. 

“Andi! Amber! Did y’all make up yet?”

As if on cue, TJ and Cyrus race down the hill, followed closely by Jonah, Buffy, Marty, Libby, and Walker. As they reach flat ground, Amber’s shocked to see Jonah take Walker’s hand, smiling at him like he’s never smiled at any of his ex-girlfriends. 

“They did!” Cyrus squeals, looking at Andi and Amber’s interlocked hands. He fists pumps the air in victory. “Another successful set-up.”

“You guys are dumb,” Libby shakes her head, before turning to Amber and Andi. “I’m happy that you two finally got your shit together. Everyone here was done with your mutual pining.”

Andi rolls her eyes. “Thanks, Libby.”

“Hey, is nobody going to talk about how Walker and Jonah are apparently together now?” Amber says, changing the subject.

“It’s new,” Jonah defends.

Amber grins. “We’re happy for you, Jonah. Hopefully you treat him better than you did the three of us.”

Jonah blushes furiously. “That was in middle school! I’m better now!”

As everyone laughs, Amber has never felt more content. She’s surrounded by the people she loves - what could be better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyyy we're done!
> 
> last chapter will be an epilogue/wrapup of sorts, so stay tuned for that sometime this week. thank you all so much for reading and commenting!! andi mack and ambi will forever have a special place in my heart <3


	15. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one year later.

“Honestly, Amber. You didn’t have to come all the way from Atlanta to help me move in.”

“I wanted to, though,” Amber says. “Freshman move-in is a once in a lifetime experience.”

Andi looks at the boxes strewn across her new dorm room, with Bex outside at the car preparing to bring in more. Instead of taking clothes out to put away in the drawers, or plugging in the mini-fridge, or doing something equally useful, Andi’s standing on a chair, carefully pinning her string of polaroids across the wall. 

Her roommate hasn’t arrived yet, but she’s excited to meet her. They had met on the rooming portal and bonded over their love of activism in art. Essentially, “Another Andi,” as Amber had called it when Andi told her the news. 

Bex bursts into the room, out of breath and barely visible over another mountain of boxes. “Why are these boxes still unopened, Andi?” she asks disapprovingly, somehow surveying the mess from behind her own pile. “And where did your dad go?” 

“No idea,” Andi shrugs. Amber hops off where she’s sitting on the bed, and moves to strip off the masking tape from one of the boxes. 

“Stop making Amber do the work and start unpacking,” Bex reprimands her, setting her pile down onto the floor.

“Alright, alright,” Andi grumbles, adding the finishing touch to her collection of photos. 

They spend the next hour in relative silence, broken by tape ripping and drawers slamming. Bowie eventually returns, helping them put together the deconstructed vacuum and lowering the bed frame. 

“All set?” Bowie comments, planting his hands on his hips in a comical fashion. They’ve somehow managed to somewhat straighten out Andi’s side of the room; at least, there are no stray items in sight. 

“Yep,” Andi nods. “Thanks, guys.”

“When’s your roommate coming?” Bex asks. “I wanted to meet her.”

“Abby’s coming later in the day, I think,” Andi replies. “After all, she’s coming from California.”

“Well, we really have to get going, but tell her we say hi,” Bowie says. “Maybe we can meet her during family weekend?”

“I’d love that,” Andi says, reaching in for one last hug with her parents. “I’m going to miss you guys.”

If her voice cracks on the last part of the sentence, well, they don’t comment on it. They also don’t comment on the tears welling up in everyone’s eyes, or the way Amber’s respectfully turned around to give them their privacy. 

“Call us if you ever need anything,” Bex says as they pull away, swiping at her eyes. “We’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

“Of course.”

With one last hug, they’re off, waving madly at Amber and Andi before Andi shuts the door.

“When do you have to go?” Andi turns to Amber, flopping onto her bed.

“My bus leaves in an hour, so I should probably get going,” Amber answers, pulling up her ticket. 

Andi tries to hide her disappointment. “I wanted to show you around campus.”

“You can show me when I come up for fall break,” Amber reassures her. “I promise.”

“How is it that we’re in the same state again, but still four hours apart?” Andi muses.

“Hey, you could’ve chosen to go to SCAD's Atlanta campus,” Amber points out. “Besides, if we made it through last year, we can do it again. And it’ll be easier this time, since we’re in the same time zone now.”

“I love you,” Andi mumbles as she leans in for a hug.

Amber kisses the top of her head. “I love you too.”

“Call me when you’re on the bus,” Andi tells her as Amber slings her backpack on.

“And call me when your roomie comes,” Amber replies. “I want to know everything about her.”

“I will,” Andi smiles, reaching in to kiss her girlfriend one last time. “See you soon.”

With one final hug and wave, Amber’s gone. Just as Andi’s about to sit back down on her bed, her phone chimes with a text.

abby:_ I’m omw!! can’t wait to meet you!! _

andi: _can’t__ wait to meet you too!! :D _

Andi walks towards her desk, piled with new school supplies Bex and Bowie had splurged on. She opens one of the new notebooks, blank and ready for her to start using.

As she attempts to straighten the pile, she hears the rustle of a piece of paper falling to the ground. Leaning down to pick it up, Andi can’t help but smile as she sees what it is.

_ Amber Kippen and Andi Mack’s guide to long distance _

_ Amber and Andi will call each other once a week. Preferably the last call of the night, before they go to bed. _

_ Amber and Andi will FaceTime each other once a week. Not an audio call, FaceTime. _

_ Andi will put up pictures of her and Amber together on her wall. _

_ Amber and Andi will always tell each other the truth, even when it’s hard. _

_ Amber and Andi will love each other with all their hearts, always_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to go up earlier, but this week has been really terrible, so sorry. also, the ending was inspired by tatb if you didn't notice hehe
> 
> but with this comes the end of this story/series! i really enjoyed writing it and i hope y'all enjoyed reading it. 
> 
> please feel free to keep up with my other endeavors by following me on twitter (@afterglowsmoak) and/or tumblr (am sideblog: amberandi, main: sambuckysharon) :D


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